As I traversed the burdensome obstacles, I was faced with choices I made in years past
Not in recent history, but going back over six years.
Not sure why my mind is drudging up the decisions I made I long ago forgave myself for; the guilt of those choices weighs me down.
Things I did from childhood into my late twenties, yell at me like some mad woman looking for anyone to pay attention to her, even if it is negative attention.
Some are blurred; others come in with crystal clarity. I could almost smell and hear the sites and sounds of this troubling past engulf me.
People I caused turmoil with pleading to me, asking me why...
How did I allow these demons to enter my sanctuary once again, almost as if there was something from that time that was calling out to me, only to be drowned out by the anguish of my sins?
Something I need to remember floating at the edge of the murk being dredged up, a lingering memory like when you feel you left the stove on or the house unlocked when you are well on your way on vacation.
So I search through these dark woods for an answer, avoiding the overwhelming guilt threatening to overtake me, hoping that the breadcrumbs I leave behind lead me back home.
Fucking birds
No comments:
Post a Comment