My Bucket list

1.  Purchase a bucket

Crisis of conscience

This evening I had the company visit me after I settled into getting
home from work.

I let them in and welcomed them into my home. We sat around the dining
room table, reminiscing. Not the recent past but from a
history of a life I lived a long, long time ago.

They brought up things I chose to forget. acts so terrible I separated
myself from that person as if it were the life of another man.

In a not-so-condemning way, they reminded me of these things and so
much more. I cannot say the evening was entirely unpleasant; just a
revelation as to why I do not deserve great things.

They reminded me that no matter how hard I try to be a better man,
this path is one I am cursed to travel alone. They wanted me to accept my fate, and at the end of the evening, I bade them farewell; I saw my demons
off, wondering if I would sit here and accept things the way they were.

J

Sent from my iPhone

New Tritionist

In less than two days, I have an appointment with a nutritionist.

I received her info from a lady from OA, assuring me she specializes in special cases like mine.

Yes, I am a special case!

Things I had today:

For breakfast, I ate a creamy peanut butter Atkins bar (for those of you who do not know, this is a 0Carb protein bar)

For lunch, I had leftover chicken breasts cooked at the Foreman Grill last night (a quarter of a pound)

The Foreman grill is the most awesome tool ever created, especially for someone with strict dietary needs like myself.

For dinner, I spiced up some ground turkey and grilled turkey burgers with a side of broccoli

Things I wanted to eat:

-Sausage egg and cheese on a pretzel roll from Dunkin Donuts
-Large Pumpkin spice Isced latte
-A donut from Rainbow Donuts (let's be honest, I would have eaten five)
-Birthday cake I saw in the lounge at one of my schools
-Peach cobbler, my mom's recipe; been craving this off and on for weeks now

They say soon I will not desire the above, that I will look at them with a mere "meh," but for now...
...grant me the strength...

14 Days 22 Hours 34 Minutes

...ago, I started my abstinence counter, a counter to my complete abstinence without compromise.

I am not sure what the future holds for me

I know only now; I look down at a count up from the day I started this journey, 14 days, 22 hours, and 36 minutes ago.

Saying goodbye to the things that I love, things that I tended to before those I love.

How is it that such inanimate objects have such control over me?

14 days 22 hours, and 38 minutes ago

I see that number and count the days with an excruciating effort.

I pray to my higher power to accept things I cannot change, to help me change what I can, and for wisdom to understand the difference between them.

14 Days 22 Hours, and 39 minutes

I look at that number and realize, damn, I type slowly.