eventful days leads to eventless nights

I wonder about my discipline

or lack of it

I sat on my couch watching the television wrestling with the idea of putting off this evenings exercises

and again I found myself on my bench pushing harder and harder

harder than the night before

with no regrets of the strains on my muscles

now hunched over my computer desk pounding away on my blog with my mind floating endlessly into an abyss

I am doing things right

being a good person

eating right

exercising more and more on a daily basis

then why am I feeling worst

I should be feeling better

more energy

what am I doing wrong

has the demons from my past finally caught up with me?

or is Karma kicking my ass for past deeds.

or am i kicking my own?

i can see the difference

my clothes hang off my body like a rodeo clown

then why do I not feel it

eh, what are you gonna do?

"Four days will quickly steep themselves in night;
Four nights will quickly dream away the time;
And then the moon, like to a silver bow
New-bent in heaven, shall behold the night
Of our solemnities. "~Shakespeare