Helping the Future eating the Pasta

redemption does not
     enter into happiness
        here and now only

repeating Mistakes
    only should have been forgot
        future consistent

sown into fabric
    into justification
        hoping dreams fulfill

truer words not yet
    evoking new emotions
        troubles worn out soul

intimidated
    roaming about life to feel
        will it play out right

~ J

---

This is my seventh attempt at a Haiku, the first five will be forever lost, the sixth is in a previous post.

I am sure my poetry falls into the "Sucking" category, however I was always fascinated by the haiku.

It is a type of poem that adheres to a very strict set of rules.

So much can be said in these small lines, yet too much must be left out.

To you this may seem like some random words, but to me there is a both deeper and hidden meaning.

~ J

Epilogue: I unfortunately ignore one important rule, a haiku typically consists of 16 versus :(

Haunted by the ghost of Christmas past

I feel him dances outside my field of vision I turn to see him chase away
An attempt at pursuit is a tempting delight
To give in is something of a fright
He laughs and judges testing my moral
Hoping I will give in to his fracked up quarrel
Asking questions wastes precious times eats away
At my life at my dreams at the length of my day
To distract I seek someone to rescue
Only I am the fool who needs a savior
Scared away by a past long forgotten and forgiven
Grasping a future so thickly made of smoke
Falling from a present wearing a past like a cloak
My demons prey on a victim so weak
I feel him dancing outside my field of vision when I turn to seek him
He dances away pointing and laughing
He haunts me as I attempt to move on in a new world new way
But his condescending glare just keeps appearing
blocking my future
distorting my present
tempting me to give in to his self pity
judging a character I chosen to wear
Is it me or am I still him dancing away
pointing and laughing and judging the man who has become the man of today
I need to know if my efforts were not in vain
I can still see him dancing
Just outside a field of vision
Wondering if anyone else share this fate
Do they know the man who dances
Pointing and laughing and judging my morals
Was the man I was
And the man I hope not to become
He dances and points and runs away
As I turn my head to catch a fleeting glimpse of a possible future
From an improbable past
Can I truly be forgiven of deeds he has committed
The one who dances
The one who points
The one who runs away laughing and judging
As I turn to greet him
I am confronted with
Myself

~ J

Making Sense from a dollar Coming up Short of a rhyme

Doves feathers white as Christmas snow
Children laughing as spirits grow
Fasting for upcoming holiday feasts
Preparing a meal out of santa’s beasts
Worshipping a non existing hero
Reducing children’s will to zero
Our past disappoints our future kind
Forgotten promises past selves blind
Another year weakens our resolve
As a new decade prepares a soul to evolve
Wasting away our minds to their lies
In our own backyards weak and innocent cries
Broken families holidays past
A forgotten conflict will outlast
Loves greatest gift locked away no key
Looking in wrong places a lover will flee
Counting to infinity losing a battle of wits
A man may turn away but he will not call quits

~ J

Google postage

Hello my reader, I am posting from my IGoogle page at a Panera's cafe in Margate.

Not too sure what I am posting, but I can safely say I found the first three chapter's to my novel titled "Sanguis".

It it available upon request, if you are at all interested please email me at J@JFinley.net

Thank you for stopping by,
Enjoy your Weekend
Your good friend,

~ J

I have a thought but do not know how to put it on paper, I have an idea but cannot formulate the words.

~ J

I could not help but laugh... Tee hee hee ;)

~ J

Goodbye Christmas, thanks for all the sweet memories.

~ J

As I sit at the edge of my bed, I contemplate as to what 2010 has to offer. The end of a decade, the start of a new.

~ J

Forced to watch julia and julie, a movie about some chick blogging and getting chunky, thought it was something to post. I am blogging about a blogger

~ J

A merry christmas to all, and to all a good night :)

~ J

Sometimes you need to trust your instincts, but how do we know our instincts trust us?

~ J

Travelling backwards while time moves away

Some of the ideas that form in my head

has come to a point of misconception

I recall the items when life was a bowl of spagets and meatballs

will I make sense of the following days

as a wandering mime dances away

in a field of observations


no one will bear witness

to the crime that I call my life
which is not the tragedy I once sought after
but the cataclysmic entertainment of choices other people make

entertaining my eyes a mouthful of delight

I watch a blank wall painting a mental picture
of a field with roses swaying amongst the summers breeze

of a world once forgotten


but of a past now remembered

dwelling upon such desires can only scare fate away

can I be the one who death will avoid at all costs
due to the unstable nature of my personality


I write this once again
on a fading keyboard


while the letters of a strange


alphabet leap to my fingertips


~ J

I heard this unusual joke today that I wanted to share with you. It was so funny it had me laughing for two hours and twenty three minutes.

~ J

My mobile posts are not showing up on my blog. To any of my reader out there, if this does not post, please let me know. Thank you

~ J

I approached the stranger to reassure him that all will be okay because of the path he will choose will lead him to some amazIng results

~ J

I met a stranger today, I knew him but he did not recognize me. I can tell by the look in his eyes that he wanted to be like me.

~ J

I cannot sleep, I do not know what keeps me awake. ~ J

I am jason jeremiah finley, you can take my pride, my dignity, my self-respect but you cannot take that away ~ J

Some have come full circle, but I have come full square

Greetings friends,

Thank you for taking your time to visit site of my observations

I know the preceding posts most likely do not make sense.

I deleted plenty of them because they deemed too outrageous and possibly may be used against me to have me committed

but basically this is where I display a fraction of what goes on in my minuscule mind, then later I edit out the unusual bits (yes more unusual than past and future posts)

Although I did not create my blog with readers in mind.

It is meant for me

but if you happen to benefit from it then by all means...

...seek help

Your good friend

~ J

epilogue: I want to read your blogs, so please post comments with your blog so I can see into you soul as well....

Oversized shorts half a two dollar bill

Post Coming soon...

I must live in an alternate reality where nothing make sense any longer. If the whole world is crazy except me maybe I am the one who is insane? ~ J

I must live in an alternate reality where nothing make sense any longer. If the whole world is crazy except me maybe I am the one who is insane? ~ J

I am blogging from my Sprint Blueberry Curve.

this is my blog I will Write what I see Fit

Sitting in a dark room

sipping a sip of liquor

typing on my keyboard

seeing words form before me

on my screen.

This is my moment in time.

the five minutes it takes me to dull out these characters

from my hands

to my screen

onto my blog

to your eyes

into your mind

shared to a friend

back to me

every sip I take from my glow-in-the-dark plastic publix cup is one more sip to a dulled mind

an intellect brought to a lower level of mind numbing happiness

I deleted the previous sentence with the full idea that it was too much information

you will never get to read that one sentence for it no longer exists

that sentence I deleted may have been the difference between life or death

love or eternal loneliness

or maybe it was utter and complete non-sense

why did I delete it

what compelled me to hit the back space 74 times forever wiping out an idea that was not destined for this blog

it is said that energy/matter cannot be destroyed, but changed

so does this sentence, I felt compelled to delete, still exist?

in its original form or as a new idea?

The more I pound out these meaningless characters the farther from my mind the deleted sentence becomes

once a solid articulated idea now an incoherent thought

this poor string of ones and zeros never stood a chance

the length of time it live in this world; even quicker it was taken out

just by 74 measly strokes on the fifth largest key on my keyboard

~ J

Fours Day, Threes Day, Twos Day...

Hello friends :)

We made it to December, the past eleven months felt like years.

But I will save the reminisce to my end-of-the-year blog.

For now how are you doing?

I am so glad to see you stop by once again, I know my posts have been intermittent of late, no excuse my journey has been plagued with obstacles, as well as twists and turns.

I am again trying my hand at poetry, I have been posting some of my work to fill in my blog.

it is boring to say the least...but I feel compelled to share.

I need to step away for now

stay tune I shall be back

Your good friend,

~ J

Epilogue: Sweet dreams ;)

Do not believe Google maps

The map below my blog keeps posting that I am somewhere that I am not.

It posts places I will be in two days to three weeks.

Do not believe it, google is deceiving you.

It wants you to go to the places I am not, so you will be forced to buy their sponsors products.

Do not be fooled, because I am most likely right behind you.

~ J

This was my Monday, I fear Tuesday

The countdown to Christmas is now tickling our noses.

Turkey day is no longer around the corner but two doors away and the aroma of feast day fills our senses.

Crossed Monday off my calendar, now I will be bummed out for six days until Monday returns again :)

At least I have this Thursday to look forward to, breaking up the chaoticness of a mundane week.

Why do we give such a dark name to the day after Turkey Day?

From now on I will refer to the end of this week as Green Friday!

You cannot stop me.

You will have to catch me first.

I am thankful for my family.

I am thankful for my friend.

I am thankful for my health.

I am thankful for my reader.

I am thankful for the Elders of the Internet, for giving me a tiny corner to post my inner thoughts.

and most of all I am thankful for YOU!

~ J

I am posting something to my blog, I do not know why but its not my log, I am trying hard not to mispell, I am sending this from my cell ~ J

deeper Meanings dissolving Chaotic thoughts

roaming a world I create
enveloped by its sweet aromas
having left behind burdens
early morning songs

venturing into an unknown
    over hills of swaying grass
light breezes taunt my face
    into a sunrise of golden majesty

hues of richly deep colors
    circle a horizon of majestic mountains
under a sea of crystal waters
    moving a soul no longer bound

world of simplistically complicated possibilities
    outcasts gathering to witness
how glorious this world can become
    yesterday no longer existing

a time long forgotten
    sowing a garden ripe with fruit
tomorrow a distant country yet discovered
    only a time can speak of said stories

night lady pulls a blanket of darkness
    nestling her children in her sweet embrace
anther day tucked into memories
    calling of a night bird singing them to sleep

i listen to her song as my eyes weigh me into

~ J

What is it they need me to find?

elaborate dreams
    lights a deeply evening sky
        i search for purpose

must I continue
    seeking what cannot be found
        remember a loss

eternity waits
    here my journey begins new
        standing at end worlds

innocent delight
    touches my wandering soul
        imagination

~ J

(thi sis myh aik u)

Ever wonder what it would be like running off to explore the world

~ J

there are too many variables that make up life, many scientists and theologians have yet to solve this equation ~ J

I hope my friend is having an amazing birthday :-) ~ J

It became dark outside real fast ~ J

I am

~ J

Taking the long day home

I figured out why my Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays always feel like Thursdays and Fridays.

The days seem to drag on (not in the negative connotation of the phrase "drag on" but in the sense that each day appear longer)

So by the end of the day the previous day seems to be two days away.

So there fore each afternoon I am under the impression that it is either Thursday or Friday, and for some reason on Friday's I wonder why it is not Saturday or Sunday?

In a previous post I speculated that the universe is expanding exponentially, so therefore scientists theorize that time is given the illusion of moving much faster.

However I believe if the universe is actually expanding, time is actually being stretched making the days appear to be longer.

So I did a few calculations and came up with this hypotheses:

Each day is in fact the value of 53 hours, 37 minutes, 45 seconds, and 2.85 milliseconds.

Some people may argue the fact, but I believe only a select few is more aware to the changes of the universe than others.

I have not come this far only to be turned away

I reached the crossroads only to find my options were limited to complicated questions.

When I asked my higher power for the answer his response was "Two Hundred and Twenty Two"

So I now need to find out what the ultimate question was.

I decided to take 3 short cuts only to be stopped by the Karma Police

Apparently I ignored the yield sign and did not allow the baby monkeys the right of way.

If I had to do it again I would have given the monkies a ride.

My car had enough gas for the next 112 miles, but not enough gas to make it another 23.

So I went back to my house to do to pick up another 59 cents.

It took me nomore than 5 minutes and no less then 20.

My problem was not in the math but in the fact that the physics could not uphold the law.

Frieday

Good evening my friend :)

Well this turned out to be a roller coaster week, full of ups and downs, but no matter where it was it continued to spin around.

My journey through the first week of November was certainly an adventurous one. I wish you could have experienced it with me, although I am sure you had an adventure of your own.......?

Last night I crashed.

I skipped my evening work out not from laziness but shear exhaustion.

However I picked it up this morning.

After that I had my oatmeal and bananna for breakfast.

Then headed for work.

The weather was magnificent.

I never felt more alive today :)

and for the first time in three weeks I was not plagued by fatigue!!!

I listened to Christmas songs while I did my work in the morning.

Completed several tasks throughout the campus.

and enjoyed my day...

...up until the phone call.

I had a conversation with someone that left me in a bad state, and no matter how much I tried it my mind went south.

Now once again I am exhausted.

Yesterday I skipped my daily blog (although there is no official time I make my post).

Thursday morning I finally got around to getting my blood work done, you see a week ago I had a doctor's app

Since the second week of October I have been suffering from extreme fatigue, the doctor was not too happy with the results so he wants to arranged tests after my blood work results come in.

I kinda sorta kept this a secret, only told some people a little info, not how serious it was.

but now I am too tired, and after a phone call with someone close to me I feel like I was put through the ringer.

But no worried my friends, there is still fight left in me :D

I just need some R&R this weekend along with some meditation and I will be right as rain once again.

I just wanted to check in to see if you enjoyed my gift of Thursday?

and to let you know to share the weekend with the world.

There are so many amazing things out there my friends.

and I have homework for you.

Yes the "catch" to my gift to you of Wednesday and Thursday.

I want you to list ten new things you experienced this weekend.

It can be small things or Great things, just as long as they are new things.

New to you that is.

This list is for you.

You can share it with me if you want.

You will be amazed how many new things you can experience in the course of two days just by keeping your eyes open.

Now do not look too hard.

Most of it will be right in front of you.

Once again I appreciate your company :)

Thank you for stopping by.

Sleep well.

Pleasant dreams.

Your great friend,
~ J

wed......nes.......day

Hello my friends :)

I am glad to see you are back.

Did you enjoy my gift to you?

Ah, it was a splendid day, Wednesday, rolls off your tongue.

Well guess what I have great news for you.

I can only do this one last time so take this gift and spend it frivolously

Thursday is your day.

Yes I said it and you have it, I am giving you Thursday!!!!!

Tomorrow is all yours, seize it my friend.

Forget about today, its over.

Tomorrow is yours, I cannot wait to hear how you lived it :)

Sleep well my friends

........and remember tomorrow is all yours

Your friend,
~ J

cracked candlestick holders, melted gnomes

This is my 19th evening straight of my workouts, I have been working out before three to five times a week, but this is the 19th day in a row since I started my next level in self improvement.

It took years of planning, cultivating, and money to sculpt myself to the 420lb obese blob you've met in 2008, so I cannot expect my results to be that evident in a mere month.

It is just so easy to stray.

The temptation at times can be too great.

The burden greater.

but when I see myself in the mirror

when I see myself through other peoples eyes

I know what I need to do

even if today is my last day

at least I know I left this life fighting.

A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it. ~Jean de La Fontaine

TGINF (Thank God Its Not Friday)

Greetings Friends :)

So we made it through Tuesday, overcoming old challenges, tripping over new ones

Your journey through the first week of November is proving to be quite an interesting one

and for those of you who think otherwise need to pay more attention

there are things in the works

people around you teaming with ideas

all ready to burst out with a simple smile or mundane hello

But not to worry my friends, if today did not do it for you, guess what I have another day just for you

That is right I am giving you "Wednesday"

tomorrow is your day and only yours

take confidently and use It wisely

no strings attached

and I expect nothing in return

Wednesday is your day my friend

I shall step aside and allow you to do with it as you please

all I ask is

please do not waste my gift to you

so go on

grab it

Wednesday is all yours

Thank you for stopping by

enjoy the remaining hours of your Tuesday

count down to your very own day

Sweet dreams

Your dear friend,
~ J

eventful days leads to eventless nights

I wonder about my discipline

or lack of it

I sat on my couch watching the television wrestling with the idea of putting off this evenings exercises

and again I found myself on my bench pushing harder and harder

harder than the night before

with no regrets of the strains on my muscles

now hunched over my computer desk pounding away on my blog with my mind floating endlessly into an abyss

I am doing things right

being a good person

eating right

exercising more and more on a daily basis

then why am I feeling worst

I should be feeling better

more energy

what am I doing wrong

has the demons from my past finally caught up with me?

or is Karma kicking my ass for past deeds.

or am i kicking my own?

i can see the difference

my clothes hang off my body like a rodeo clown

then why do I not feel it

eh, what are you gonna do?

"Four days will quickly steep themselves in night;
Four nights will quickly dream away the time;
And then the moon, like to a silver bow
New-bent in heaven, shall behold the night
Of our solemnities. "~Shakespeare

Forever together, eternally apart

She dances away with a lighted beauty and grace
as the earth admires her from afar
she captures the light of a sun
reflecting it on her planet below
basking earth in her midnight bliss

she tugs at his waters - affecting his tides
he accepts her magnificent
glory from an opposite pole
as they dance a silent tango

two very different heavenly bodies
forever entwined - eternally apart
perfection in pair - forever a match

without her radiance no life can survive
Without his gravity she will be lost

Phase after phase he reaches for her grace
she spins away lighting a path
in cold vacuum of space
with a simple smile of illumination

Forever together, eternally apart

~ J

The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain

Life hangs upon me, and becomes a burden;
I am ten times undone, while hope, and fear,
And grief, and rage and love rise up at once,
And with variety of pain distract me.
~Joseph Addison

Yes this was Monday and I am J

I....






...dont know

Thank you Joan Fabrica <-J>

Grandmother Nature Beat the Snot out of me

Greetings Friends :)

Yes it is sad the weekend has concluded, but BE HAPPY tomorrow is the beginning of a new week.

New day, new experiences new possibilities!!!!

I trust you enjoyed your weekend?

And do not worry about it if you used this time to complain about work, there is another weekend of free thought after the next interesting five days.

Today my travels took me to Naples, soaking in Grandmother Nature in its fullest.

She provided us with a pristine blue sky, a bright glorious sun (not to hot, not to cold), and a magnificent ocean.

I did not intend to get into the waters, but the second my feet hit the sand I found myself meeting the powerful waves with the full force of a mack truck.

Then I realized I needed to change into my bathing suit and tuck away my phones and wallet.

The ocean licked me, and I enjoyed every last punch she had to offer.

I am still coughing up salt water, and picking sand out of areas of my body.

...and I had the honor to experience this with a close and dear friend.

I wish all of you could have been there...

...but there is always a next time.

So yes take the time to bask in the beauty Grandmother Nature has to offer, and let the forces of Mother Ocean wash away your worries, fears, anxieties....

Thank you for stopping by.

Enjoy the remainder of the evening.

Sweet dreams.

Good night.

Your good friend,
~ J

The only cure for paranoia is to be here just as you are..... <-J>

Yin Yang

Here is an interesting quote from a Vulcan character on STV:

"Without the darkness, how would we recognise the light? Do not fear your negative thoughts. They are part of you. They are part of every living being, ...... We learned to control it, but it is still part of us. To pretend it does not exist is to create an opportunity for it to escape."

T.J.I.F.

Greetings friends :)


You have completed the ritual of one week.

A lot has been accomplished these past five days.

You may not see it clearly now, but soon you will be able to look back and contemplate the adventures we experienced, the obstacles we circumvented, and another leg of the journey we triumphed.

I am so proud of you my friend.

Just remember the past is now past, and the future is still a blur, live in the present, experience the now, and bask in the life that flows around you :)

I did it, I was able to complete another evening work out.

I know how it is, I get home and plop on the couch, knowing that the means are there, and thinking:

“Hey I did it for five days straight I can skip this evening…”

But I did not, I got up and pushed myself, pushed until I could not do anymore, then push even more.

Soon I will be use to the pain.

The pain will then fade into the background.

Become a part of me.

And I will be a new J

Strengthened from my own weaknesses.

Steel needs to be softened and banged around before it can become a strong metal.

Thank you for checking in.

Have a wonderful night.

Sweet dreams.

Be safe tomorrow

Have an amazing weekend.

Your friend,

~J

Wow i am in more pain than i thought <-J>

I AM A man

Greetings my friends

We have successfully concluded a Thursday.

You have my permission to congratulate yourselves.

Go ahead I will wait…

…ready?

I know I am alive.

From the pain I feel after my workouts.

I push myself until I cannot lift my arms.

Then I push harder.

The toxins I have partaken in the past thirty years flow from my pores and soak up my shirt

The pain is excruciating

Excruciatingly wonderful…

I feel.

I live.

The Man

Enjoy your evening

Sleep well

Your friend,

~ J

Hi friend :) i am blogging from my phone this evening because i am not home, i found myself in a different place this evening. I became restless after my <-J>

.... Workout and had to get out of the house. After an hour of driving i find myself in a diner in a town i past many times but never stopped by <-J>


Although i want to keep driving, i have work in the morning and need to head back, but i think i will stay here a little longer (the waitress is cute) <-J>
 
.....and she keeps smiling at me :) <-J>

After every workout i feel different, in a good way, although i seem to be pushing myself too hard to keep the demons away <-J>

outer demons

This is it friends, it seems that the demons hovering outside my cottage want in again.


They kept bombarding.

The struggle with this journey of mine seems to have it some rocky and steep terrain.

I could take the easy path, paved with pizza and cakes.

But it seems the dangerous one it is....

I over did my workout this evening, feeling a bit light.

I guess that is the point to feel lighter.

But not in the head.

The demons quit for now.

well my friends I cannot see what the future has in store.

In the meantime I will continue the good fight.

I have accepted this is a path I must continue down on my own.

Thank you for checking in.

Sweet dreams.

Your good friend
~ J

DeFacedbook

Greetings :)

I trust you had an interesting Monday?

Well do not sweat it my friend, we made it to Tuesday's end.   Tomorow is the hump day of the week.

The weekend is just up the block and there will be a full 48 hours to complain about what transpired the previous 40+

Me?

I am choosing to enjoy my week so I can have a relaxing and adventurous weekend.

Yes that is right I am more relaxed when I am out on one of my crazy adventures.

Thank you for checking in.

oh and by the way, I am staying off of Facebook until the change the news feeds back to the way it was, it was too confusing before with the explosion of dating ads and  escaping farm ville/town animals.

Now it is just down right....

not sure, but I am staying off and sticking to my blog

So if you want my update.

I will be here ;-)

Your friend
~ J

The week has an end, we call this Friday, and for desert Saturday and Sundae

Hello again!!


I see despite my mundane rumblings you have returned to my secluded oasis on the web.

I am glad to see you again, I am overwhelmed with honor.

I would like to tell you about my week, but first I want to let you know that no matter how yours went (good bad indifferent) you have made it to this point, smarter, stronger, wiser, and more intelligent than when you started your journey on Monday.

I will start my journey through the third week of October on Sunday.

I have come to accept this day as my day of reflection. Here I use the time to evaluate my accomplishments and my failures of the previous week and use it to create a better J for the one to follow.

This past Sunday was an exceptional day of flaw finding. Do not get me wrong I never end my weeks with regrets. Dwelling on the past only consumes the time of possible accomplishments of the future.

I am glad that I am able to find the areas where I need improvement, there was a time I deluded myself in a blanket of pretention blinded by the feeling that I was always right and everyone else…

Well you get the idea.

So you see, I now can see past my ego and learn from errors both small and large.

With that I embraced Monday as a day of new beginnings

(rather than the illusion of autonomous desolation we adapted over the generations of dread)

Instead of blinding ourselves to a mundane daily grind. We need to open our eyes to a new realm of possibilities each Monday has in store for us.

When I started this letter I had the intentions of spilling the gossips of work life. Instead I will tell you about the three conversations I had with three very different people this week.

An acquaintance, a stranger, and my Uncle

On Tuesday I ran into an old co-worker I knew back in my days as a telemarketer.

Then we were slaves to our work week and used our weekends to complain about work.

Today we found ourselves at the opposite ends of life changing experiences.

I learned that she has been through two deaths this past year alone; of loved ones that were real close.

Her sister and a close friend from grade school that she kept in touch with over four decades.

I was saddened by her ordeal and felt compelled to sit with her longer that the obligatory “hey how is the weather, see you around….”

We spoke for a bit and with a loss of that magnitude I knew there was healing to come. However I learned that despite their lives cut too short, she walked away with something from each of them. And instead of falling into a pit of self-pity, she is using this experience to make her stronger. And the knowledge that her close friend and close sibling will live on in the hearts of their children and their values and teachings will be passed on generations to come.

Wednesday, before I continue with this adventure, I need to add that Wednesdays is the day I have a standing dinner with my uncle, earlier we mutually agreed this will take place on Thursday.

On Wednesday I found myself in an interesting predicament. I was at odds with a few decisions and my road did not just fork but veered off into several different directions. Depending on a path I took I would either hurt myself in the long run, or hurt people that are close to me.

However an unknown was placed into my path. I exchanged words with a person I did not know in a misunderstanding that never should have taken place; but it did. This stranger said some things that hauntingly hit close to home.

(Sorry that I am being obscure, I want to get this down without giving out details, its not about what took place but what I walked away with in the end.)

To get to the point the short conversation I had with this stranger actually put things into perspective for me and where I thought was a fork in the road was actually a winding path, albeit difficult, I was able to make it through without any doubts.

Thursday was a bit more personal. It was my time with whom I consider a mentor. I learned something about my uncle, his words are wise, and I am proud of how far he has come in the past 22 years.

Well if you made it this far into my ramblings, than you are a better person than I.

Enjoy your weekend.

Do not let the trivialities of your week interfere with your enjoyment, remember the past is not paying you rent so do not let it occupy your mind ;-).

Thank you

Your close friend

~ J

Today is your day

Just because this is my blog (and I am sure that Iam the only reader) it does not mean I do not recognize you as a magnificent wonderful human being. 

You are a unique individual and I am honored to know you. 

Thank you for being you and there is nothing I would want to change.

I look forward to meeting you again everyday as a brand new and totally interesting person.

Thank you

Your Friend
~J

Did 20 full situps, before you laugh this is a great accomplishment from a former 420lb freak who used to consider a sit up as reaching for the remote <-J>

Had a nice salad for dinner, made from scratch, considering becomeing a softcore vegetarian <-J>

What a magnificent day, I am looking forward to my drive back home <-J>

Eating dinner at the Cracker Barrel, wondering how would it be if one day i went out and left my devices at home.

Would the world miss J? 

Would I miss the world? 

<-J>

... <-J>

No wonder i can not sleep, while my mind is processing something that transpired an hour ago, three new events are posted, and a fourth is transpiring <-J>

We live in an age where information is posted as the event the subject of the information is occuring <-J>

I am blogging from my phone <-J>

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain

To whom it may concern,

If you are the unlikely patron who happens by this blog please note that this is just my ramblings to sort the erratic thoughts in my head rather than a mundane account of my daily happenings.

If you do wish to read a blog of some note feel free to click that "next blog" button located to the top left of this page.

Thank you for stopping by.

enjoy the banana cream pie.

~J

Counting sheep losing my place

Why cant I fall asleep?

My mind continues to race with a finite of possibilities. 

I cannot focus on just one thought.

Counting sheep only is so distracting until I get to 1342

then it is just another thought in a chain of thoughts

until I find myself blogging about sleep

Complicated certainties

The more I attempt to simplify my life the more complex is seems to become.



If I try to work this from a different approach, maybe I should try to complicate things.



By complicated things it will create an air of mystery.



No one will know what J is going to do next…



So if I change tactics and try a more complex approach, would the results be the same as my attempts to simplify my life?

There is nothing like a good workout to give a clear perspective on life <-J>

I often wonder if i am in a play and the world is here for my amusment <-J>

Going to apply for the Amazing Race <-J>

What a magnicent day it is, I need to get out <-J>

I love my job, living my dream; technology and education is my reeses peanut butter cup <-J>

Counting Infinity Losing my Place

 

Okay folks big J picked himself up a workout bench, no excuses, next time you see me i will be PUMPED UP <-J>

Just drove past a sign that read 'Do not text and drive' <-J>

Today is my half birthday, i know this may seem silly but I was raised believing this was a celebrated tradition; today I am 34 1/2 <-J>

Obama won a nobel peace prize?

I think i slipped and fell into a darker alternative universe <-J>

Sometimes playing games is what the situation calls for <-J>

Wednesday

I having a standing dinner with my uncle every Wednesday evening, this is somewhat of a undisclosed routine.

I look forward to this time because it is a nonjudgmental way to clear things about my life and learn and grow from him. I believe he gets out of our discussions a similar rewarding experience.

I do not think I would have made it this far in my journey of self improvement if it was not for my uncle and his wisdom.

I believe life can be more rewarding if everyone set aside a regular time with family or friends if not to break bread with each other, but just to sit, talk, and possibly learn.

Not just on the mandatory holidays, but outside the norm.

As a highly developed social species surrounded by telecommunications, tv, and the internet, we lose focus on the basic human need to sit down and talk face to face.

Today is a good day <-J>

I found my good pair of sunglasses, it was in a classroom i would have never concieved of leaving it there <-J>

The worst of my head cold is past i am still a bit disoriented by otherwise ok <-J>

We can not give in to the mentality of negativity, by creating a positive outlook we can overcome most obstacles and the ones we cant we learn to enjoy <-J>

My day started pretty crappy (health wise) but after lunch i refused to give in to the bug and willed myself to feel good <-J>

My religion is very simple; my religion is kindness <-J>

Finality

I have stored the objects of my memories into a decorative wooden box. Locked them away in my closet of past and disregarded the key.




I am concluded; it is time to close another chapter in my life and start a new one.



Just because things seem to have finality to them does not mean our story is over.

Simple Observation

I have noticed that when some people first meet me they seem to be angered by my very presence.  It is only by getting to know me that they soften to my charm.

Today is Friday or is it Monday?

This darn flu bug has finally caught up with the J man. All the Vitamin C, Echinacea, and the antibacterial liquid did not fend it off.




I kept thinking today was Friday, do not get me wrong; it was not wishful thinking; I thoroughly enjoy my job, and nine times out of 10, I do not know what to do with my off time.



But today felt so much like a Friday I would snap back into reality, remembering it was a Monday.



Now I realize today is Tuesday. For my life, I cannot recall anything that happened yesterday. All I remember was going to bed on Sunday and waking up this morning (Tuesday morning).



I lost an entire day. I cannot be from forgetting my Synthroid, for I took it Sunday, and I know I took it this morning, and it takes at least three days of failing to take my meds before I begin to experience subtle forms of dementia.



I am missing an entire day.

-j-

Blurred Reality - skewed perceptions

Wow, what a week. I cannot say for sure the underlining meaning of the message I learned this week. However, I can say there has been a significant change—a change in some of the people around me and a change within myself.




I cannot say that there is an actual change in the people I know, but more of an awakening inside me that allowed me to view my peers in a different light. It was a frosted glass of perception being rolled aside to present a clearer view.



It was like meeting my friends and coworkers for the first time. I cannot explain this new perception, nor can I surmise the meaning. All I can say is that it was certainly a refreshing view, and I look forward to meeting new people in the months to come.



We may be conditioned into believing we lead mundane lives. A routine of boredom daily; I tell you this now without any convictions, our lives are nowhere near ordinary. We live in a world of constant change.



We need to learn to open the blurred perception and look around.

-j-

Love on DS9 seems to be a doomed institution 

-j-

Carma is innocent

Filling up Carma this morning with petrol, I noticed quite a large door ding in her starboard side rear door. I am curious about the anger this poor soul felt to either open their door with such force to cause such a ding or purposely cause harm to Carma, who is an innocent victim of any circumstance.




I hope this person finds the peace they need to deal with the underlining frustrations that would motivate them into such violence.



As a human being seeking enlightenment, I forgive this individual and hope no Karmic retribution is to bestow them. In the grand scheme of things, this is a minor wound, and the world will still revolve on its ancient axis, and my life will continue to be blessed.