W1: D4

Greetings friends,


Even though I reset my path to this past Tuesday, I actually started my new diet plan Monday Jan 4th 2010.

With the exception of my time in Tampa (what happens in Tampa, remains in Tampa) I maintained a below 1000 calorie a day diet.

For those of you who do not know me, I am an individual that enjoys eating, particularly good robust foods.

A sudden switch to salads, vegetables, and lean deli meats (alone) is akin to a crack addict quitting cold Turkey (not the food cold turkey but the expression).

I know what you are thinking 'crack is so much worst' but remember this my fiendish frolicking fine fermented fruitful friends, crack can be avoided, unfortunately food cannot.

So my mind is a large battlefield. On one side it is me and on the other side a frackin buffet.

To make things worst I do not have a thyroid, which means I do not have a metabolism.

My 'new' metabolism is being regulated by a drug called synthroid but that only comes in a regulated dose and I am at their max.

No I am not using this as an excuse, I lost 16 pounds so far (since Jan 4th) despite my lack of a thyroid.

I bring this up because this journey tends to mess with someone's head.

All the guards I set up over seven years ago seem to be disintegrating.

I am writing this now to show myself I have a semblance of awareness to this fact left.

That I am hanging in there.

It will get worse before it becomes better.

~ J

Epilogue: I am J, you can take away my pride and my dignity but you cannot take away that, I am J.