W3: D16; We admitted we were powerless over our addiction

"We admitted we were powerless over our addiction..."

Admitting we are powerless over anything is a very very difficult thing to do, let alone admitting being powerless over an addiction.

However I found it is human nature to have an addiction over one thing or another, whether it is a substance such as drugs or alcohol, or food, or a intangible yet real thing like codependent, or our insecurities.

These addictions exist and, whether we realize it or not, rule our lives.

I admit I have several addictions I am powerless over; one of them is my overeating.

I find it very difficult to consume food in moderation and sometimes seeking sources to satisfy my need to binge.

This is both a conscience and unconscious behavior.

I say unconscious because at one point in my life I trained my mind and body to automatically respond to picking up before my mind can react.

At this point I realize that I have a serious problem.

A few weeks ago just a day after I started my path, I walked into a room where someone was kind enough to put out donuts for staff. Without even a thought I found myself elbow deep in a jelly donut.

Just as an alcoholic new to recovery cannot consciously enter a bar, I cannot be in a room containing my addiction by myself.

I would like to add that this is a very difficult thing for me to admit, but I bare myself on my blog for my sanity.

Thank you

~ J

Epilogue:



lighting my path to
     an almost perfect future
          incompleted sentences


causing my effect
     epitaph my forever
          paraphrasing thoughts


serving no masters
     securing only passage
          into an unknown


end my suffering
     home is my only question
          so why are there more